Greedy food monster? Maybe not

I love food. I love eating, I love the flavors and the satisfaction of being perfectly full and sometimes overly full to where I feel like I’ve stretched my stomach skin. Growing up I was constantly told by my biological father that I shouldn’t eat this or that because I would get “fat”.  His concern of me being a little pork bun rollie pollie was because he is originally from American Samoa. If you don’t know anything about Samoans, one thing that I commonly hear is  “wow, you aren’t huge”, or “are you sure you are Samoan?” .   Yeah, I’m pretty fucking sure being that my last name is T_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _, sounds pretty Polynesian, pretty Samoan to me. It’s genetics that Samoans are large people. I suppose I have good genes, my father would be on the “smaller” Samoan scale in size. He’s 6′2″ and weighs about 180.  Me, I’m 5′6″ and weigh…well I’ll just say I’m two more Beard Papa’s away from being a chunk, a little more than 130.  I was born with a lot of natural muscle weight that I just can’t slim down & shed the muscle off. I still have it.  No really, just squeeze my ass.  As long as I look good and feel good then fuck the world.

Where do they go?

What do people do with those sex tapes? Naked self timer photo shoots with you and the boo, diddle buddy or a random?  Naughty bathroom stall photos?  Where do they go with the relationship ends? Delete, discard or …..? I remember on few occasions being drunk enough to let the camera roll,  allow that camera lens to open- point and shoot. I’ve been lucky enough to have 90% of photos and videos. Camera phones… I can’t say that I have all of those, not that there are many, but maybe just enough to burn me. MAYBE, especially a few spread eagle or face down ass up type thangs. J/K.  Do you have full possession of all the evidence?  Do you care? I think it’s all in good fun & if the guy is a decent one he’d respect you to the fullest to not blast your ass all over the internets.

FIN.

Beauty pick of the week

I swear that I do use other products other than Benefit,   I find that the products work awesomely. I don’t need rhyme or reason to this. It is what it is and Benefit products work for me. The packaging is amazing.  I likes.

A proper holiday season wouldn’t be complete without receiving any new beauty products. Like I have said before I am a total junky when it comes to cosmetics, beauty products, beauty related gadgets,  whatevs.  I was pretty excited to see that my G’ma hooked me up with a whole basket of Benefit cosmetics.  One of them being the super mega rad dopeness called BENETINT LIP BALM , in the basket this one so far as been thrown into the Balenciaga when leaving the house. Driving back to Van B.C.  last night I put it on 2xs in the car. I love it. What I love about it is the colour, the rosy tint is awesome and a hue I haven’t worn in a while.  What I also like light rose fragrance infused in this tiny pot of wonders.

What do you got to lose? $20 bones ain’t shit, remember it’s better than going halfers on a half g.

Jumping ship

I think it’s time to switch to a different blog name. My first + middle will not do any longer…

World’s most expensive umbrella

Is topped at a whopping M.FING 50k by Billionaire Couture an Italian “extreme luxury” brand.  It’s made of top grade croc skin treated for water resistance. RIDICULOUSNESS!  I don’t know how many times and how many umbrellas  I’ve lost  when bar/club jumping, left them in parking lots when smoking js with randoms, or “borrowed” umbrellas from people.  I remember a school mate of mine left his BAPE umbrella at a pub, and the coat check girls “didn’t know where it was”.  HIJACKED!  That was 100 times LESS than this bad boy.

What’s the most you would drop on an umbrella?

R.U.F. #10

RANDOM USELESS FACT #10:

Given today’s average frequency of sexual intercourse, it would take the average American couple more than four years to try every one of the positions described in the Kama Sutra.

I would be more than willing to test & prove this differently. Although, I don’t think it would take me long.

What to do XMAS EVE eve? So I mean like the 23rd

What better way to wrap, up your xmas shopping on xmas eve eve?  (pun totally and lamely intended)  DRINK? Spread holiday cheer? Bake? Get your nails & hair done?  See Questlove in Seattle right before the birth of baby Jesus?  Sounds solid to me.  Oh and it will also be my post bday super sweet 16 gathering, because once again I have stayed in the land of Maple leaves for my birfday.  It’s just a birthday, would like to see those who I haven’t seen in a while and have to enjoy music and cocktails. Nothing speshul, I already turned 16.

More info after the jump….

Chanel Pre-Fall 2009

What-the-fuck-ever, I know that the Chanel Pre-Fall collection was put on blast December 3rd, but I have been too busy being lazy. I also was in Toronto,  also went to the New Balance Canada xmas party. Been hung over. Whatevs, I don’t get paid for this, so until I do back up off me. Anyway,   every season I look forward to Chanel. I love Chanel, all women love Chanel. If you don’t, move the fuck on.  I heard from one of my Visual Merchandising instructors that Karl Lagerfeld once face pushed a model back stage because she slipped while on the runway.  That’s exactly what I’ll do to you if you hatin’ on le bomb dot com Parisian fashion house known as the almighty  Chanel.

For more heat…

Figure out what is wrong with this picture

Highlight below this text for the answer.

Answer: It’s a cheap dinner tab @ Gyoza King. Cheap because we didn’t drink any booze!

Boast Post Volume 2

A very early happy birthday (actual date is dec. 15th)  gift to me from my boo.  Yes, that’s right my very own first 20″ Dunny. The BESTEST part is that I have the 8″ Redrum dunny to go right along with it’s 20″ older brother. Frank Kozik is an awesome artist, one of my favorites.  If you are looking at the other items on my bedside table, you are seeing correctly, I do have a few toys at my bedside.  I like to lay on my side and stare at the random toys. About that mini teacup and saucer?

That mini teacup and saucer hold my wisdom teeth. That white tiger cub toy and that $ .25 machine dog are actually protecting my wisdom teeth.  I want to get them dipped in gold and have them put on necklaces. One for me and one for my boo.  I know that ScarJo did it for Ryan Reynolds, but I think it’s great. Yes he has my heart, but he has something of me with him at all times.