I try to follow up with as many blogs as I can. One blog in particular that I do keep up with is one belonging to Flordia’s own major babe BETSEYJ. I asked her if I could re-post this for the (small audience) that I have and she was super cool about me re-posting it, THANKS GIRL! I think this is something that should be shared, we are a community. No matter the scale/audience of your blog. A community.
Here’s BetseyJ’s post in full:
If you count the years of Livejournal/Geocities/Angelfire etc. etc., then you could say I’ve been blogging for a solid ten years. But if you just want to focus on more modern day blogging, then its been about 5 years. Regardless, no matter which way you slice it, it’s been a long fucking time. Now I’m not saying I’m some old pro or something, but I’ve been around awhile and for as long as I can remember it’s always been a positive experience.
That is up until now.
I’ve been mulling over the idea about whether or not I wanted to touch on a certain subject that has been swirling around in my brain for the last few months. But after reading an array of ridiculous comments, seeing passive aggressive tweets/blog posts, and watching a myriad of fake accounts pop up, I’ve finally gotten tired of keeping quiet. And I’d like to address a few topics that have been plaguing my brain.
When I first started blogging, I didn’t really lump myself into any specific category, I don’t really do it now. But once I got into the swing of things, I became a part of the IFB network and met a ton of wonderful people. And the funny thing is, in a community/network based in the Fashion industry, everyone was so welcoming and helpful. There wasn’t any catty behavior, snide comments, or passive aggressive antics, and there still is not.
But as I began to expand my blog-o-sphere reach, I started going outside of just the fashion realm, and into other blogging communities. Some good came out of this but over the last year I’ve watched a lot of things change, not in a positive way at all. There has been a lot of nasty behavior and negative happenings going on and because of this, it’s really effected my passion for blogging and left a sour taste in my mouth about aforementioned community.
I’m not quite sure what the root of these issues are, or where it started. Is it jealousy? Is it competition? Is it because a lot of people are just new bloggers and are doing this for the wrong reason? I haven’t been able to pinpoint any specific instance, but it’s effecting the morale of the blogging community.
Twitter
It’s supposed to be used for networking, not passive aggressive tweeting or to create fake accounts. This isn’t middle school. This isn’t a popularity contest. If someone unfollows you, keep it to yourself. What is the point of saying something nasty about it? Who cares? You just end up looking like the asshole. If you don’t like someone’s blog post why are you going to make a snide comment about it via Twitter? Again, what is the point?
Twitter is a useful tool for people to engage in conversation with one another, brands, and to get the word out there about their blog. It should not be used as a tool to publicize personal drama, or negative feelings about another blogger. Like the old saying goes, “If you don’t have anything nice to say, don’t say it at all.” If you have to question whether or not you should tweet something, or if you end up going back and deleting it, then you probably shouldn’t have tweeted it at all.
Anonymous comments
Surprisingly I’ve never really had to put up with this issue. But I know a large portion of my blogging peers have. Again, what is the point? If you don’t like someone (which is funny in general b/c none of us really know one another outside the blog-o-sphere) what the fuck is the point of talking shit to them? Do you feel better about yourself? Before you type something, why don’t you ask yourself if you’d say that to the person’s face. If the answer is yes, well then 1) you probably shouldn’t be reading their blog and 2) you’re rude. So instead, click unfollow , X out of the screen and step away from the computer.
“Everything’s a copy of a copy of a copy.” - Fight Club
Yes people it’s true. Get over it. Nobody is stealing posts or copying your ideas. Everything has been done before. Nobody is the first. You are certainly not and neither am I. Unless of course you invented the internet and the first blog. Stop expecting recognition and don’t get publicly mad if you don’t receive it at the end of the post. I’m not giving you a gold star and I don’t expect one from you. And if you really want to be vain and egotistical about it, just secretly pat yourself on the back that someone was inspired by you.
Do you think I walk around accusing every girl with an ice cream cone or a cupcake tattooed on them of being a copy cat? No. I’m not that egotistical. I certainly wasn’t the first and I won’t be the last.
If you’re creating original content then this shouldn’t even be an issue. Now, this does not mean steal photos or hyperlink them. Also this doesn’t apply if you found a DIY project on another blog and you want to re-create it, yes give credit to the original site.
Blogging for the wrong reasons
Ask yourself these questions…
1. Are you blogging for free clothing?
2. Are you blogging for fame?
3. Are you blogging only to make money?
If you’ve answered yes to any of these questions, then don’t pass go and please stop blogging.
So as bloggers, how do we overcome this negative behavior that has begun to plague certain communities?
It’s not rocket science. It’s very simple. It’s about common courtesy.
Just stop. Focus on you. Focus on what you love.
As much as we’d all like to believe that people handle themselves online like they would in person, that’s wishful thinking. Once you put a computer screen and miles of distance between people the gloves come off. It’s just a fact. People get computer confidence. This doesn’t mean its ok.
Try to remember why you started blogging and what you love about it. Focus on bettering your blog and yourself, and don’t be so concerned with what anyone else is doing.
Now don’t get me wrong, I’m not a martyr and I’m not perfect. I love gossip as much as the next person. (And if you say that you don’t, you’re a fucking liar.) But after watching the demise of the blogging community, I will be making a conscious effort to remove myself from the negative. I will be moving forward and away from any bad energy, and only focusing on myself. As should you. Let’s collectively rise above the bullshit and figure out how to make this community more solid.
This is a community. Not a competition.
After reading this if you want to be my bestfriend then let me know. We can drink box wine and paint each others nails while watching Lifetime Movies. And if you don’t, well I won’t cry or hate you for it either. I’ll just move on with my life like you should. But you should probably want to be my bestfriend, because I’ll teach you how to do the perfect liquid eyeliner.
So let me ask you, why do you think this blogger vs blogger negative behavior has become so prevalent in the last year? Does it have to do with jealousy? Is a popularity thing? How do we move on and away from this?
P.S. – If you finish reading this post and think its about you. Then it probably is. Because that means you’re feeling guilty of negative behavior. So own up to it, accept it, and fix it. Because at the end of the day, we’re all guilty of committing one of these crimes.
